I know it’s been ages, but I guess I can still say Happy New Month and Happy New Year at this time?
I literally have no excuse for ghosting, and I’m soo sorryyyy. The last six months have been several shades of chaos; I’ve had fun, exciting, frustrating, happy, and sad days.
At some point, I was so frustrated with being away from school for so long that I began to slack on many projects, this being one of them. But look at me now, wanting a break away from school because I cannot can again!
I’m so busy with school work that I haven’t been able to find any time to read (not school books). That never happens, never!! It’s so sad that I can’t even do anything about it until after these exams.
I guess you should also know that in the last six months, I started a business!! Why should I give you all the tea when you can see for yourself? Click here.
Oh well, I guess you’re all caught up now. This is just a check-in, my people. So, do tell; how have you been? And I hope you can forgive me for ghosting? I’ll try to be consistent this time.
Happy new year, and happy new month. March will be good.
Ps. Let me know what you want me to write about in my next post.
This might just be my shortest letter. How have you been? I for one, have been good; productive and really good actually 😊
In the course of this pandemic, I realized something; a lot of us weren’t ‘living’ in the actual sense of living. Yeah, we’re alive, but more like just existing. We didn’t do the things we liked, go places we wanted to, or see the people we wanted to see.
Okay, I know that some of these things require funds which you may or may not have, but what about those ones that don’t require any money or little money? You want to travel the world? Tour Nigeria first nawww; I’ve heard the North has beautiful spots to visit. Oya I’m not even saying go far; start discovering new places where you live.
We’d gotten so used to just doing what everybody expected of us or what was ‘normal’ and when the pandemic hit, we couldn’t find a balance. Believe me when I say it took me a while to find my stride and I had help even, from the best friends one could ask for.
Quote me anywhere, any day, ‘joining AIESEC was the highlight of the year for me’ 😍 In AIESEC, I found myself, opened up to myself, and I’ve made friends that deep within me, I know it’s a friendship for a lifetime. I think it’s different for everyone, because you get to own your AIESEC journey all by yourself.
I remember when I was talking about joining the organization last year, I was thinking I needed to start living and that’s just what I did this year. It might sound funny to you, but many times, I’ve asked myself what I’d have been doing this period if I didn’t join AIESEC. All my wins this year have stemmed from AIESEC; I kid you not, every single one of them and it’s a lot to count.
Okay, this is turning into an AIESEC rant and that wasn’t the intention. I’m just so excited about the last six months and I wanted to share with you. I’m doing the things that make me happy (writing this is one), I’ve learnt a new skill, and I’m living! (Just as I promised myself at the start of the year). I inadvertently kept a New Year resolution 💃
So what am I saying in essence? ‘DO YOU!!’ Start living; be happy. When you go with the norm so much, you end up like the bridge on the River Choluteca. When the tides change, you’ll be unable to move along. You’ll be stuck at a place and you’d have lost your purpose. If you don’t know the story of this bridge, go read it up; I’m trying my hardest to keep this short.
Have you been living? What are you waiting for before you start? The future isn’t guaranteed, you know? Live in the moment!
I’ll leave you with this; ‘say yes to your heart even if the fear is crippling. Start with who you are and what you have.’
P.s trust me, you’ll live longer.
Pps this isn’t an ‘aspire to perspire’ letter abeg.
What are those things you want to do? What’s holding you back? Let’s discuss. Feel free to shoot me a mail if you don’t want to use the comments.
So in the last post, I told you all about my glo sim Bunmi (that’s what I call her) 🤭 And I said I was going to tell you what I thought happened to Bunmi, and someone suggested I spin my theory into a story and I decided to do just that! If you’ve not read the last post, find it here.
I have several theories and just one story though. My first theory is that Bunmi had a falling out with her parents and left home. Another one is that Bunmi was kidnapped, another is that she eloped with man!! Guess which one the story is based on?
I was wondering how to break the news to Mama. She never believed anything I said; she was definitely going to make it look like it was my fault. But it wasn’t, honestly, I had to do it to protect my younger sister Tayo. Tayo was the unexpected child; there’s a whole 10 years gap between us so I saw her more as my baby than my younger sister because I mostly took care of her; Mama was always busy with the business ever since Baba died.
It had been two weeks and I was yet to tell Mama. Uncle Jide is evil; he wanted me to “take care of it.” I was only 16 for crying out loud and this was all his fault. He raped me continuously from when he moved in with us after Baba died; I was 14. He’s Mama’s only brother and she treated him like a king; he could do no wrong in her eyes. But me, I was the spawn of the devil in her eyes. It’s a wonder she didn’t throw me out immediately the prophet from down the street told her I was responsible for Baba’s death; it was two years of misery; I miss Baba so much.
Mama finally found out when I was nearly three months gone. She threw me out with only the clothes on my back the moment I mentioned her brother’s name, screaming how I was the worst thing to ever happen to her. Sometimes, I used to think life would have been easier for me if Mama had thrown me out when that fake prophet lied to her, but then I remember Tayo and how Jide (he doesn’t deserve to be called uncle) would have been raping her instead. Then I realized I was no longer there to protect Tayo; I was all alone out there, pregnant and penniless and my sister was probably in the care of a rapist.
I walked the streets until I came to a shelter. I moved from one shelter to another and begged frequently. Begging was one thing I hated; so I used the money to start hawking sachet water. People were quite sympathetic to a pregnant young girl and often left their balance with me. It went a long way to quench my hunger. I continued this way until I met a widow who took me in and turned my life around, literally.
Mrs Ani was childless and had more money than she knew what to do with. She lived two states away and she constantly took children and teenagers off the streets. Her house was always teeming with people; newcomers, old timers she had helped who came to check on her, etc. She sent me back to school and helped me take care of my son after he was born. I was very lucky she was visiting my area when she saw me. Now I was away from Mama’s reach completely.
It’s been 12 years now and I’m doing really great for myself. I changed my phone number a few years ago, after I graduated from uni. I had kept the number, hoping Mama would call me after a while. I left many messages for her but she never replied any. After years of therapy, I understood her behaviour was toxic and trying to reach out was affecting my mental health negatively, so I took the first step of changing my phone number. I’m married to the best man and I have a beautiful girl also.
I had just finished a lecture at the university when a young lady walked up to me. “Could my eyes be playing tricks on me?” I ask myself. The young lady in front of me is a splitting image of me; a much younger version though. “Excuse me ma, my name is Tayo Lawal, you look so much like my elder sister and I’ve been searching for her for years. I know your profile says Adebunmi Ona, but were you ever Adebunmi Lawal?” She looks at me with bright hopeful eyes and I can’t help getting emotional; Tayo is right in front of me.
I take her to the house to meet my family and we try to catch up on the way. Apparently, Jide’s “ripe age” was 14; I was just unlucky to be 14 when he moved in with us. Tayo stabbed him the first time he tried to touch her; she has always been gutsy, lol. She says Mama and everyone else have been looking for me since then; Tayo is 18 now so that means it’s been 4 years since they started trying to get in touch. Jide is serving jail term for rape and attempted rape; Mama finally acted after Tayo involved the entire family.
I make Tayo promise not to tell Mama she found me. I’ve missed my younger sister so much but I’m not sure I want to establish contact with my mother again.
Disclaimer; this story was not written to discredit or insult Bunmi’s mother in anyway, this is purely a figment of my imagination please.
So, what do you think? Should she establish contact with her mum again? Was this the theory you guessed I was writing on? Tell me what you think.
It’s so nice to finally get to talk (write in this case) to you again. The last few weeks have been sorta crazy and I’ve been trying to adapt and make a few adjustments. But most importantly, I missed you so here I am. I sha hope the feeling is mutual ☺️
Anyway, I bring you gist today. How many times have you received a call from a wrong number or dialled one yourself? Probably so many times such that you now complain about why Dangote has never accidentally dialled your number or why he’s never been the one you called by mistake 😂
So, I have a glo sim card I’ve been using since 2016 and from the moment I started using the sim until sometime late last year, I kept getting calls from people who wanted to speak to someone called Bunmi. Not one, not two persons; different numbers kept calling quite often.
It was a sim I used on and off, but every time it was in my phone, I got these calls. I guess the sim card was registered to someone named Bunmi previously. Only a few people had this number so at some point, whenever I got a call from an unknown number, I was ready to say “sorry, wrong number, this is not Bunmi.”
Sometime in October last year, a man called and asked to speak to Bunmi. I had just started to use the sim card again after a few off months. At this point, I was pretty tired of getting the same calls for three years. So, I told him it wasn’t Bunmi and that I’d had the number for about three years and people kept calling for Bunmi. I further asked him to please relay to the others that Bunmi wasn’t using the number anymore.
Uncle started shouting at me oh, talking about how I’m rude (with this my baby voice and plenty manners). Ha! All my politeness wasted on entitlement, SMH. I quickly hung up; I’m never up for toxic conversations please. He called back and before he could launch another tirade, I reminded him I didn’t know any Bunmi and gave him a speech on respect 😏
Few hours later, I got a text message from Bunmi’s mother and that was the first time I actually stopped, like really stopped to think about this Bunmi person. I had always thought her friends were the ones calling. Never did I imagine that her family didn’t know her whereabouts. The text message was very sad and full of emotion. I had to reply, explaining how I had the number and how I never knew her daughter.
Since then, I’ve not received a call for Bunmi again, but once in a while, I think of her and wonder what happened and if they’ve been able to get in contact with her. Many scenarios run through my head on what could have happened to Bunmi and made her estranged from her family, even her mother. But I guess we’ll never know 🤷♀️
But I’d like to hear your thoughts; what do you think happened to Bunmi or between her and her family?
Maybe I’ll tell you my own thoughts in my next letter. Subscribe so you don’t miss it 😉
Today, I want to discuss something quite personal with you; how I feel about animals. Do I love them? Definitely not. Do I hate them? No, hate is a strong word. I think a better word for how I feel about animals would be “dislike.”
Yes, I said it with my chest 😎 I dislike animals except some of them in my pot😋 My sincere apologies to all the vegetarians and veterinary doctors out there. This is one of the reasons I would never have made a good vet (story for another day sha).
I’ll be telling you stories; my experiences with different animals. Maybe you’ll come to understand why I feel the way I do about them.
I hear a lot of people say cats are cute. First of all, let the “Nigerian Christian” in me shout BLOOD OF JESUS!! 😁 I do find cats cute though, but only in pictures.
Every time I see pictures of Nancy’s cats (Shero and Nala) on her status, I start awing. Or Nnedi Okoroafor’s cat; Periwinkle Chukwu (yes, that’s the cat’s name) on Instagram, I begin to fall in love with cats. But bring them close to me, and I’ll take off.
There was a shop right beside my secondary school that had a cat. I stopped going there to buy anything the day I noticed the cat. See, I’m scared shitless of these animals. I do not like the idea of a cat slithering between my legs or curling up at my feet. This was what the cat did to me that day and I nearly wet myself in my school uniform; on a beautiful Monday morning!! 😥 All because I wanted to buy junk. There were other shops around abeg.
Funny thing is; my mum usually says we once had a cat. She said it choked on a bone and died. I have no recollection of any cat at all, so I’m very sure this was before I was born. Maybe if I had met the cat, I wouldn’t be so averse to cats today 🤷
All of you that keep screaming “I love dogs.” Have you ever been chased by a dog? Because I have; TWICE!! I don suffer sha. First time was in the village; I don’t think I was even up to 10 years old. I was walking with an older cousin of mine who was scared shitless of dogs. We passed a dog and she was practically shivering like a leaf. As little as I was, I told this aunty “don’t run. It’ll pursue us.” But no! The moment she looked back and saw the dog following us, she started running 🤦
Here’s the thing now; she was holding my hand. So by extension, I started running too and now I couldn’t stop. Next thing, we started hearing dogs (yes, plural) barking. Fam, I will not lie to you… I was running blindly; I was jumping over yam mounds with my eyes closed.. Apparently, I had entered a farm. Whether aunty left my hand abi I detached my hand from hers, I can’t remember but I was running solo.
Then she fell down and packed sand and all the dogs retreated. That was the day I learnt that dogs were scared of sand; that sand could blind them. I have never confirmed this theory though. I’m not sure if it’s true or false. If you know, please tell me oh.
The second time a dog chased me, I didn’t do anything to it either. We had gone to visit a friend and from the gate, I called and said “hold your dogs abeg.” They had two dogs and one of them (I think his name was Bobby) was very aggressive.
Halfway into the compound, see the Bobby they said was asleep charging towards us from the backyard. Mogbe! What shall I tell my mother? We ran inside the house without wasting time and shut the door.
Before you come and start telling me the dog was not chasing me, yen yen yen, I’ll have you know that my friends that owned the dog were running too. If you can explain why a dog was chasing its owner, then I’ll listen to you. I think these experiences contributed to my dislike for dogs.
Finally eh, which animal has not chased me before? Goat don pursue me join oh 😥 Well, this happened in the village. I insisted on following my cousins to bring the goats home. Then I said let me lead one oh.
That’s how I was holding the goat at arm length and walking fast and the goat was walking fast too. So, I started running and the goat started running too. I did not think that the goat was matching my pace seeing as I was holding the rope 😂 Instead I was running faster until I fell over a yam mound again! I still have the scar from that fall.
Let’s not just talk about all the times my wicked cousins (yes, if you’re reading this, all of you are wicked) used fowl to chase me round the compound in the village. These wicked souls usually blocked every entrance to the house 🙄
Abi you want to hear about the multiple times I refused to board a bus because I noticed somebody carrying fowl inside? Leave matter for Matthias oh.
Till date, I have never held a fowl, let alone attempted to kill one. You that is looking at me like that, can you kill fowl? Don’t disturb me abeg, I’ll keep buying frozen chicken 😍
I sha like horses. So maybe, just maybe, I might be able to stand a horse and ride one someday. I said maybe oh, you can’t hold me to that.
Oya tell me; are you an animal lover or you’re just like me? I want to know.
How have you been? I hope you had a great week; I kinda did. I missed you too, I hope the feeling is mutual 😊
We all know how kids are always excited most of the time when they hear that they will be going to a boarding school. Little do they know the ups and downs that follow; they always think it’s a smooth ride ahead; a life of eating plenty provisions 😂 At least that’s what I thought.
Each time my elder sister was going back to school, I assumed she was going to enjoy and I always made sure to cut her provision. If she’s reading this, I’m sorry oh 🤗 I didn’t know nothing. I was the only one in my house that didn’t go to a boarding school, and after hearing the scary stories, I’m really glad I didn’t go.
p.s there’s nothing you can say to change my mind, so dead the thought 😎 Here’s a story of a young girl in the boarding house. The first part is on my Instagram page. Visit @oma_okoro to read. You can read this as a stand-alone though. Enjoy!
“Room 3 girls!! On the lawn!” Snr Jane shouted from outside. Nawa oh, this one will just come from green house to punish people in red house, my room girls start grumbling. We’re all praying not to be the “unfortunate soul” that has fallen into her trap.
As I’m leaving my bed, I spot the plate that slept on my cupboard and I realize I’m the unfortunate soul; the unfortunate soul is me. Ye!!!
We’re all on the lawn when she points at me “Fejiro, step forward. The rest of you can go in.” I watch my room girls file in while sending me piteous glances.
“Where is my plate?” She had given me her plate after dinner last night to wash, but amidst the excitement of going home today and packing, I had forgotten to return the plate until late at night. I planned to return it this morning, but it’s just 7am and she’s here already.
“Snr I…. Snr Jane I…. I’m sorry” I stuttered in fear. Nobody ever wanted to cross Snr Jane. We call her the wicked witch. “Today, I’ll teach you a lesson you’ll never forget.” Little did I know how true that statement would be.
I don’t know how long it’s been since I fell asleep in here. I start banging on the cupboard, begging Snr Jane to let me out. My parents must be worried by now.
I’m drenched in sweat and it’s getting harder to breathe in here. It’s eerily quiet and I realize there’s absolutely no one out there. I start to panic and I feel my asthma attack set in as I bang on the cupboard with all my energy and what seems to be my last breath.
I’m standing in front of the hostel now. “Oh thank goodness, I got out of that cupboard. I thought I was going to die in there.”
I see my parents, the housemistress, my guardian, and Dami’s cousin, Tayo approaching. “Snr Jane has locked me in her cupboard during night prep as punishment” I hear Tayo say to the housemistress. I rush to hug my mum but she walks right through me.
I’m confused. “What is going on?” The housemistress speaks to my dad for a second and my parents wait outside with Tayo while they go inside the room. My dad is getting teary eyed and I can smell the fear off my mum. I’m scared too; daddy never cries.
Why can’t they see me or hear me? And what are they looking for in Snr Jane’s room? I think I’m hungry, I want to go home. I’m tired.
I’m suddenly feeling very uneasy here. I hear the sound of something breaking and I rush in, right behind my parents. I’m right in time to catch my mum as she’s falling, but she goes through my hands anyway and hits the ground with a thud. My dad is holding her and crying openly now. Is there something else inside the cupboard?
I step in front of all of them and look into the cupboard. I’m shocked at the sight of myself in the same position I was when the asthma attack hit me.
I guess I spoke too soon; I died in the cupboard after all. Snr Jane locked me in her cupboard and went home.
What do you think the school authority should do to Jane? If you were Fejiro’s parent, what would you do? Put yourself in Fejiro’s shoes; would you haunt Snr Jane? I think I would 🤔 Tell me your thoughts 👇👇
Are we friends on Instagram? We should be; if you loved this story. Click here
Dear YOU (yeah, make sure to insert your name here),
I hope you had a wonderful day. I’m going to be telling you about the time I decided I wanted to start wearing an anklet, just before my twentieth birthday.
I’m pretty sure I’m not the only person that has heard plenty of varying gists concerning anklets.
I’ve always fancied anklets and waist beads, but I always hear negative comments about them. So I decided I was going to gift myself an anklet for my 20th birthday, and I did oh, lol. It was a beautiful plain gold chain.
The plan was to start with anklets because they are visible and eventually move on to waist beads. I don’t know why, but I wanted to get people’s reactions first hand, no more hearsay. But this waist beads story will be for another day 😄😄
Now, the first thing I realized was that not many people actually notice these things. Another thing was that a lot of people actually like anklets but wouldn’t wear it because of the judgement it’ll get them. I hung out with a lot of my friends more than once before they even realized I was wearing an anklet.
About 50% were on the “what the fuck are you wearing?” page; the other 30% LOVED it even though 25% of them wouldn’t wear it because of what everyone else would say (and no, I wouldn’t call them hypocrites), and the other 20% couldn’t care less if I was wearing an anklet or not.. It didn’t change anything for them.
The major issue the 50% had was the myth (yeah, I’m calling it a myth) that anyone that wears an anklet is either wayward, a lesbian, or a prostitute and this never fails to amaze me. I mean, who are you to judge? An anklet is a piece of jewellery; a fashion statement.
Whatever other meaning you’re attaching to it is all in your head; I mean, some people even say wearing an anklet is diabolic. We can’t all like the same things, so why should you judge people for their own choices? Some body even threatened to stop talking to me because of my anklet… wawu!! Lol.
See eh, people are always going to talk and most definitely judge you for whatever choice you make; however logical it may seem. So I’ll say do you! Live your life for yourself.
Yeah, I eventually stopped wearing my anklet because it was going to cause issues for me in school with lecturers, and at home with my dad. I’ve never been one to do one thing at home and a different thing in school; it’s just too stressful.
I consider the few weeks I wore the anklet as a social experiment that proves that we’re all too judgemental with no justifiable reasons.
One day, I might wear an anklet again…as the spirit leads. Until then, hit me with your opinions; what’s your take on anklets? Do you like them or not? And why?