HOW I FEEL ABOUT ANIMALS

Hey there,


Today, I want to discuss something quite personal with you; how I feel about animals. Do I love them? Definitely not. Do I hate them? No, hate is a strong word. I think a better word for how I feel about animals would be “dislike.”


Yes, I said it with my chest 😎 I dislike animals except some of them in my pot😋 My sincere apologies to all the vegetarians and veterinary doctors out there. This is one of the reasons I would never have made a good vet (story for another day sha).

I’ll be telling you stories; my experiences with different animals. Maybe you’ll come to understand why I feel the way I do about them.


I hear a lot of people say cats are cute. First of all, let the “Nigerian Christian” in me shout BLOOD OF JESUS!! 😁 I do find cats cute though, but only in pictures.

Shero and Nala 😍😍

Every time I see pictures of Nancy’s cats (Shero and Nala) on her status, I start awing. Or Nnedi Okoroafor’s cat; Periwinkle Chukwu (yes, that’s the cat’s name) on Instagram, I begin to fall in love with cats. But bring them close to me, and I’ll take off.

Periwinkle Chukwu 😍😍


There was a shop right beside my secondary school that had a cat. I stopped going there to buy anything the day I noticed the cat. See, I’m scared shitless of these animals. I do not like the idea of a cat slithering between my legs or curling up at my feet. This was what the cat did to me that day and I nearly wet myself in my school uniform; on a beautiful Monday morning!! 😥 All because I wanted to buy junk. There were other shops around abeg.


Funny thing is; my mum usually says we once had a cat. She said it choked on a bone and died. I have no recollection of any cat at all, so I’m very sure this was before I was born. Maybe if I had met the cat, I wouldn’t be so averse to cats today 🤷

Told you guys I love seeing cats 😂 I don’t know if this is Shero or Nala 🤔


All of you that keep screaming “I love dogs.” Have you ever been chased by a dog? Because I have; TWICE!! I don suffer sha. First time was in the village; I don’t think I was even up to 10 years old. I was walking with an older cousin of mine who was scared shitless of dogs. We passed a dog and she was practically shivering like a leaf. As little as I was, I told this aunty “don’t run. It’ll pursue us.” But no! The moment she looked back and saw the dog following us, she started running 🤦


Here’s the thing now; she was holding my hand. So by extension, I started running too and now I couldn’t stop. Next thing, we started hearing dogs (yes, plural) barking. Fam, I will not lie to you… I was running blindly; I was jumping over yam mounds with my eyes closed.. Apparently, I had entered a farm. Whether aunty left my hand abi I detached my hand from hers, I can’t remember but I was running solo.


Then she fell down and packed sand and all the dogs retreated. That was the day I learnt that dogs were scared of sand; that sand could blind them. I have never confirmed this theory though. I’m not sure if it’s true or false. If you know, please tell me oh.


The second time a dog chased me, I didn’t do anything to it either. We had gone to visit a friend and from the gate, I called and said “hold your dogs abeg.” They had two dogs and one of them (I think his name was Bobby) was very aggressive.

Halfway into the compound, see the Bobby they said was asleep charging towards us from the backyard. Mogbe! What shall I tell my mother? We ran inside the house without wasting time and shut the door.


Before you come and start telling me the dog was not chasing me, yen yen yen, I’ll have you know that my friends that owned the dog were running too. If you can explain why a dog was chasing its owner, then I’ll listen to you. I think these experiences contributed to my dislike for dogs.

Imagine Owen bites you 😂


Finally eh, which animal has not chased me before? Goat don pursue me join oh 😥 Well, this happened in the village. I insisted on following my cousins to bring the goats home. Then I said let me lead one oh.

That’s how I was holding the goat at arm length and walking fast and the goat was walking fast too. So, I started running and the goat started running too. I did not think that the goat was matching my pace seeing as I was holding the rope 😂 Instead I was running faster until I fell over a yam mound again! I still have the scar from that fall.


Let’s not just talk about all the times my wicked cousins (yes, if you’re reading this, all of you are wicked) used fowl to chase me round the compound in the village. These wicked souls usually blocked every entrance to the house 🙄

Abi you want to hear about the multiple times I refused to board a bus because I noticed somebody carrying fowl inside? Leave matter for Matthias oh.

Till date, I have never held a fowl, let alone attempted to kill one. You that is looking at me like that, can you kill fowl? Don’t disturb me abeg, I’ll keep buying frozen chicken 😍


I sha like horses. So maybe, just maybe, I might be able to stand a horse and ride one someday. I said maybe oh, you can’t hold me to that.


Oya tell me; are you an animal lover or you’re just like me? I want to know.

Last one I promise 😂 Cats are classy!! 😍


With love,
Oma

WHAT HAPPENED TO FEJIRO?

Hey there,

How have you been? I hope you had a great week; I kinda did. I missed you too, I hope the feeling is mutual 😊


We all know how kids are always excited most of the time when they hear that they will be going to a boarding school. Little do they know the ups and downs that follow; they always think it’s a smooth ride ahead; a life of eating plenty provisions 😂 At least that’s what I thought.


Each time my elder sister was going back to school, I assumed she was going to enjoy and I always made sure to cut her provision. If she’s reading this, I’m sorry oh 🤗 I didn’t know nothing. I was the only one in my house that didn’t go to a boarding school, and after hearing the scary stories, I’m really glad I didn’t go.


p.s there’s nothing you can say to change my mind, so dead the thought 😎 Here’s a story of a young girl in the boarding house. The first part is on my Instagram page. Visit @oma_okoro to read. You can read this as a stand-alone though. Enjoy!

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“Room 3 girls!! On the lawn!” Snr Jane shouted from outside. Nawa oh, this one will just come from green house to punish people in red house, my room girls start grumbling. We’re all praying not to be the “unfortunate soul” that has fallen into her trap.

As I’m leaving my bed, I spot the plate that slept on my cupboard and I realize I’m the unfortunate soul; the unfortunate soul is me. Ye!!!


We’re all on the lawn when she points at me “Fejiro, step forward. The rest of you can go in.” I watch my room girls file in while sending me piteous glances.

“Where is my plate?” She had given me her plate after dinner last night to wash, but amidst the excitement of going home today and packing, I had forgotten to return the plate until late at night. I planned to return it this morning, but it’s just 7am and she’s here already.


“Snr I…. Snr Jane I…. I’m sorry” I stuttered in fear. Nobody ever wanted to cross Snr Jane. We call her the wicked witch. “Today, I’ll teach you a lesson you’ll never forget.” Little did I know how true that statement would be.


I don’t know how long it’s been since I fell asleep in here. I start banging on the cupboard, begging Snr Jane to let me out. My parents must be worried by now.

I’m drenched in sweat and it’s getting harder to breathe in here. It’s eerily quiet and I realize there’s absolutely no one out there. I start to panic and I feel my asthma attack set in as I bang on the cupboard with all my energy and what seems to be my last breath.

I’m standing in front of the hostel now. “Oh thank goodness, I got out of that cupboard. I thought I was going to die in there.”

I see my parents, the housemistress, my guardian, and Dami’s cousin, Tayo approaching. “Snr Jane has locked me in her cupboard during night prep as punishment” I hear Tayo say to the housemistress. I rush to hug my mum but she walks right through me.

I’m confused. “What is going on?” The housemistress speaks to my dad for a second and my parents wait outside with Tayo while they go inside the room. My dad is getting teary eyed and I can smell the fear off my mum. I’m scared too; daddy never cries.

Why can’t they see me or hear me? And what are they looking for in Snr Jane’s room? I think I’m hungry, I want to go home. I’m tired.

I’m suddenly feeling very uneasy here. I hear the sound of something breaking and I rush in, right behind my parents. I’m right in time to catch my mum as she’s falling, but she goes through my hands anyway and hits the ground with a thud. My dad is holding her and crying openly now. Is there something else inside the cupboard?

I step in front of all of them and look into the cupboard. I’m shocked at the sight of myself in the same position I was when the asthma attack hit me.

I guess I spoke too soon; I died in the cupboard after all. Snr Jane locked me in her cupboard and went home.

What do you think the school authority should do to Jane? If you were Fejiro’s parent, what would you do? Put yourself in Fejiro’s shoes; would you haunt Snr Jane? I think I would 🤔 Tell me your thoughts 👇👇

Are we friends on Instagram? We should be; if you loved this story. Click here

With love,
Oma

WEARING ANKLETS IN NIGERIA

Dear YOU (yeah, make sure to insert your name here),

I hope you had a wonderful day. I’m going to be telling you about the time I decided I wanted to start wearing an anklet, just before my twentieth birthday.

😍😍

I’m pretty sure I’m not the only person that has heard plenty of varying gists concerning anklets.

I’ve always fancied anklets and waist beads, but I always hear negative comments about them. So I decided I was going to gift myself an anklet for my 20th birthday, and I did oh, lol. It was a beautiful plain gold chain.

It’s a shame I don’t have a picture of the anklet, but it looked just like this.

The plan was to start with anklets because they are visible and eventually move on to waist beads. I don’t know why, but I wanted to get people’s reactions first hand, no more hearsay. But this waist beads story will be for another day 😄😄

Now, the first thing I realized was that not many people actually notice these things. Another thing was that a lot of people actually like anklets but wouldn’t wear it because of the judgement it’ll get them. I hung out with a lot of my friends more than once before they even realized I was wearing an anklet.

About 50% were on the “what the fuck are you wearing?” page; the other 30% LOVED it even though 25% of them wouldn’t wear it because of what everyone else would say (and no, I wouldn’t call them hypocrites), and the other 20% couldn’t care less if I was wearing an anklet or not.. It didn’t change anything for them.

The major issue the 50% had was the myth (yeah, I’m calling it a myth) that anyone that wears an anklet is either wayward, a lesbian, or a prostitute and this never fails to amaze me. I mean, who are you to judge? An anklet is a piece of jewellery; a fashion statement.

Whatever other meaning you’re attaching to it is all in your head; I mean, some people even say wearing an anklet is diabolic. We can’t all like the same things, so why should you judge people for their own choices? Some body even threatened to stop talking to me because of my anklet… wawu!! Lol.

See eh, people are always going to talk and most definitely judge you for whatever choice you make; however logical it may seem. So I’ll say do you! Live your life for yourself.

Yeah, I eventually stopped wearing my anklet because it was going to cause issues for me in school with lecturers, and at home with my dad. I’ve never been one to do one thing at home and a different thing in school; it’s just too stressful.

I consider the few weeks I wore the anklet as a social experiment that proves that we’re all too judgemental with no justifiable reasons.

One day, I might wear an anklet again…as the spirit leads. Until then, hit me with your opinions; what’s your take on anklets? Do you like them or not? And why?

With love,
Oma

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